You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize