I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
