Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
