dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
