she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
