Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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