She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
