Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
