i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
