eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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