Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
