Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
