eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
