I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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