I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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