my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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