The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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