I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
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I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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