Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
