I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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