If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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