Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
