Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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