He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
