we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
