it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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