I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
