hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
