can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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