I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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