oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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