she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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