Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
did you just send me my own nude
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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