in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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