i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
