I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
