those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
