Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just got carded by a ten year old.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
