doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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