opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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