sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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