At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
