Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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