You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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