I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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