I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
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