Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
