I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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