We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
