his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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