Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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