when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
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as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
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I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler