i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS