I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
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I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
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Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
this is an emotional support booty call
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?