sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
