I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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