he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
