What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize