just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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