Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize