Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I've blown a few things in my day
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
