idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
