I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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