3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
