My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
