just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
