Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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