just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she woke up with a sticky ear
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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