real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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