Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This house was built for laser tag.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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